Today the good Lord intervened on my behalf, “Thou Shalt Sleep In”. My alarm went off as usual and I hit the snooze button as usual (or so I thought). What happened next, not so usual. I’m generally up long before the sun, but when I opened my eyes again my room was very bright. We’ve all been there, those days where you wake up, know immediately you’ve over slept and go from a nice peaceful sleep to “oh shit” at the speed of light! At that point my morning workout consisted of breaking the sound barrier getting out of bed, throwing dog food in bowls, taking a shower that made Usain Bolt look slow. Jumping in the first set of clothes I could find and getting to my Jeep. Now while I may have been an absolute lunatic at home, I am a pretty responsible driver. It didn’t take long for me to realize that in order to get to work on time I was going to need to drive more like Dale Earnhardt Jr. So at the first red light I sent a quick email to my boss “Running late”. My boss, JM, came back with the witty replay of “ok, but maybe you should drive, you’ll get here sooner and you won’t be as tired”, everyone’s a comedian. I roll into my office about 10minutes late, which is no biggy as I’ve been in about 30 minutes early all week.
Now I have a dilemma, I still need to get in a workout. I have no desire to run over to the gym at lunch, I only get about 30 minutes and that’s just not enough time for a 45 minute bike workout. I have karate right after work, and since I have yet to master the art of being in two places at once, that’s out. The solution, take a really late lunch and hit the workout room at the office. Yes, I work for a company that’s into health and fitness. We have a health and fitness committee, a workout room that has some pretty nice stuff, elliptical, treadmill, bike, benches, free weights and a nice multi-function machine. Some of you are reading this going “wow, I wish my office had something like that”. There are plusses and minuses. One big drawback is the fact that the entire one wall is glass and faces the hallway into the kitchen and the time clock, so if you’re hoping to get in or out without half of the company seeing your pathetic attempts at fitness, forget it. But on days like today, the fitness room was a God send.
My plan was to hit the workout room about 4:00,knock out my workout, leave the office about 30 minutes later and still be pretty well warmed up when I hit the karate school. Tonight is a busy night, I have three back-to-back classes. OK, step one, hit the fitness room at 4:00, check. Run thought warm up, check. Get on bike, check. This is where things got interesting. The bike we have is not like the spinner bike I use at the Y, nor is it anything like my Trek at home on my trainer, it’s more like a 1984-little-old-lady-ride-around-the-block sorta bike. In hindsight, I should have scrapped this workout and just gotten on my bike which is on my trainer at home. But I had a plan and I was sticking to it. The bike itself is not the problem, it’s the seat. It’s one of those, really short nose, really big back padding sorta seats. I’m not sure who came up with this, but the only way to make the seat at all comfortable is to be sitting so low that your knees hit you in the jaw on the up stroke and you have absolutely no extension on the down stroke. I decided to sacrifice my backside for the sake of the workout, it’s only 45 minutes! Two minutes into this I had various body parts protesting, I told them to shut up, at five minutes they replied with a string of profanity that would make a sailor blush. I came up with a new plan, make my legs hurt bad enough that I forgot about the various other body parts. They should do some kind of experiment on how long a minute actually feels when you’re in pain on a bad bike seat; I’m thinking a 1:30 ratio. By the time I fell off the bike I felt like I’d been riding all day. On the bright side I managed to slam out over 16 miles in 45 minutes, on the down side I was pretty sure I’d never walk right again. Note to self, NEVER EVER RIDE THAT BIKE AGAIN!
Off to karate. I went to my first class and found out that not only have I not been getting enough sleep, but I haven’t been getting enough potassium/electrolytes/something either. My legs and feet cramped up almost to the point of tears. There was a lot of PG rated profanity, things like “Son of a biscuit” and “God…bless America”. My left leg seemed to be worse, but not by much. I was pretty good as long as I wasn’t doing anything, that wasn’t going to work. I called it a night after the first class.
I’ll have to figure out what I need to do to keep my legs from cramping up and remember to never ever ride the office bike ever again!